Extra Mustard has ranked the theme song of every current main roster WWE wrestler.
WWE theme songs are maybe my favorite trope in all of wrestling. It’s a defining characteristic of our beloved fake sport. You emerge on a giant stage, flanked with massive Titantrons projecting how awesome you are, with music that (ideally) highlights the best parts of your character and maybe hints at your hubris. It’s the most dramatic, overwrought, wonderful tradition in an industry that specializes in dramatic, overwrought, wonderful traditions. Great entrance music is sometimes all you need to get over, just ask The Undertaker.
We here at Extra Mustard decided to rank all the music currently on the main roster, with two primary designations. One, we aren’t talking about part-time workers, so you won’t find Triple H or Brock Lesnar on the list, and two, we’re specifically pinning down music that people are currently using. For instance, we’re not ranking Big E’s theme because Big E is coming out with The New Day, and we’re not ranking Sheamus’s theme because he’s with The League of Nations. Make sense? Great. Enjoy the rankings, and let us collectively mourn the death of “Cult of Personality” on WWE television.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the very worst theme in the entirety of WWE. “BRIEEEE MOOOOODE-MU-MU-MU-MU-MU-DA-DA-DA-DEE,” it is hilariously arhythmic and un-musical, and somehow it’s the solo anthem for one of the most popular female stars in the company. Brie is talking a lot about retirement lately, and you know what? I’m gonna miss this thing a little bit.
Darren Young’s theme is an artifact from back before WWE figured out rap music. Thank god he’s mostly on TV with the Prime Time Players these days.
This may be the only thing holding Cesaro back. Great in-ring worker, affable personality, but plagued with one of the most generic, least endearing themes on the main roster. Give Cesaro the funk! He deserves it!
It’s a matador gimmick with a very matador-sounding theme song. No, I don’t mean seminal indie rock label Matador Records, though that would be awesome.
Neville is a truly dynamic superstar, who’s saddled with a GarageBand rock preset. It’s not quite bottom-tier because it sorta sounds like The Chemical Brothers, but it’s still far from great.
Let’s be real. You don’t know what Cameron’s theme sounds like. I didn’t know what it sounded like until I researched for this piece. It’s called “#GirlBye”, and yeah, you’re not missing much.
The Social Outcasts
I love this theme because it was so clearly something WWE had lying around when they decided to put all of these jobbers together. It’s not great, but it’s also the perfect who-cares theme for the perfect who-cares stable.
Tamina is related to Jimmy Snuka, so they gave her, like, the Tarzan soundtrack for her entrance theme. It’s not great! What a surprise!
The correct Miz theme is Nas’ “Hate Me Now,” which made for one of the greatest WWE promo videos of all time. But the WWE doesn’t work with licensed songs on a day-to-day basis, so instead we get this thing, which not coincidentally, sounds like a terrible, forgotten pop-punk jam from MTV circa 2005.
Summer Rae is a secretly great worker and actor who might be a little held back by her conventional blondeness and beauty. Her theme is the usual airy synthpop thing WWE gives the cast-off portion of their women’s division (the part they’re mostly grooming for reality shows,) but the more time Summer gets on TV, the more the world will see her talent, and maybe she’ll get blessed with a real character and a discernable theme.
The Dudley Boyz
The only pure rap-rock song left on the WWE roster, which is a good thing.
Kalisto is currently coming out to the old Lucha Dragons “LUCHA-LUCHA” mantra, which is fine, but it suffers from the same issues that plague Alberto Del Rio’s theme - which we’ll get to in a bit.
The late-’00s butt-rock renaissance that produced theme music like Dolph Ziggler’s isn’t exactly my favorite. But it’s okay I guess.
The same story as Dolph Ziggler, except Ryder’s theme is slightly catchier.
Alberto Del Rio
This is my least favorite WWE music trope. A wrestler who’s only identifiable character is their nationality always gets a song that aims to mirror said nationality as faithfully and transparently as possible. Del Rio has the most Mexican-sounding theme song of all time, which isn’t fair!
The New Day
On paper this might be the most boring WWE theme in the entire company, but the awesome, inventiveness of The New Day turned it into one of the best, most communal moment on your average Raw. A year ago this would be close to the bottom of this list. Now? You kinda have to give it some respect.
A big dumb man deserves a big dumb anthem. In that sense I can’t hate on this too much.
I never liked Paige’s theme much. I get that it’s dark and witchy and perfect for an ultra-talented wreslter who sports a lot of purple highlights, but yeah. It’s just not that catchy.
I wouldn’t exactly call Kane’s theme a classic, but he’s been coming out to the same macabre, psychedelic metal for so long that it’s beginning to feel iconic. That counts for something!
Natalya is tertiarily related to Bret Hart, so she got a remixed version of Bret Hart’s theme music. It’s not bad! Bret Hart is cool! But it’s still pretty faceless.
Well, it’s the Big Show. There are some WWE themes that I’ll listen to intentionally, and this is absolutely not one of them, but it certainly does do a good job of summing up the character.
You know what? As far as fake Major Lazer jams go, this one isn’t bad. I’m just really glad Naomi isn’t still coming out to the Funkadactyls’ music, okay?
Alicia has the most blissed-out disco-rave headtrip theme ever and I kind of love it. We need to give her a club-kid gimmick stat.
I should hate Randy Orton’s theme because it worships that goateed, gravelly-voiced garbage that more or less killed rock music in the mid-2000s. But I don’t know, I always pop for it. Maybe that’s because Randy is great, and looks like the sort of dude who’d be really into this song.
I popped so hard when Charlotte debuted this Ric Flair Theme (House Remix) abomination down in NXT. It’s not necessarily great music, but it’s such a weird thing I can’t help but love it.
You have to give it up for the Real Americans theme. Yeah the gimmick-two evil, racist border patrol vigilantes-wasn’t exactly PG, but man that music is good. The perfect, vapidly patriotic mid ‘80s pomp that I die for. Swagger is barely on Raw anymore, which is a shame because we’ll be popping for his theme 'til the end of time.
The Ascension are some of the most useless guys in all of WWE, but their theme kind of bangs. It’s just straight-up Master of Puppets shredding for three minutes straight. If only it was given to someone with the charisma or ability to back it up!
Becky Lynch’s theme dates back to when she was a Celtic, bar-brawlin’ everywoman. That’s why it sounds exactly like a Dropkick Murphys bridge. These days she comes out in a steampunk gimmick, which doesn’t exactly make sense with her music, but who cares right? It still rocks.
The League of Nations
I’m a fan big, serious-sounding wrestling themes, so when they gave League of Nations something that sounded like both a Fascist march and a CNN bumper I couldn’t help but be amused. Now, if only the stable could be more interesting...
Tyler Breeze can’t sing, so he kinda does a weird robot flow through this saccharine, synthpop banger. In kayfabe this song won an MTV Europe Music Award, which is great. I love this thing, and I really wish Breeze could get some more respect.
A mark of truly transcendent WWE music is if it manages to get the performer over despite no other discernible talents. Fandango is a decent wrestler, but his occasional success is all to do with that melody.
The Usos are a pair of great wrestlers who are unfortunately stuck with the most generic characters in the entire company. It’s a shame, because their theme is this awesome, piano-driven fake-Cam’Ron thing that I can’t help but adore.
Generally I think WWE should stay away from guitars, because that path usually ends in some truly forgettable rock music. But I like Ambrose’s theme a lot. Mostly because that opening chainsaw-rev sounds exactly what a Lunatic Fringe should sound like.
You guys, Sin Cara’s theme is secretly incredible. It’s this mystic, dreamy hymn that’d be at home in a particularly colorful Lion King montage. I know that Sin Cara isn’t getting anywhere close to the main event ever again, and that’s a shame, because seriously listen to this thing. It’s great!
Almost identical to Goldust’s theme, except without the decades of tradition-we’ll get to that in a second. Still pretty great though!
Legitimately one of the greatest themes ever recorded. The austere, vaguely sci-fi twinkles of Goldust’s theme meshed perfectly with a character well ahead of his time. It makes you wish that all WWE music sounded this distinct.
Yes, it’s a song that John Cena rapped dating back into the prehistoric era where his character was a heelish cultural appropriator far, far from the goody-two-shoes superhero he is today. Today those horns are memes, so you have to give it up for this very silly, very great wrestling theme song.
They basically gave Titus O’Neil a fake Waka Flocka Flame jam (sans profanity) turned up to 11. I kind of love it, and I really hope his suspension ends and he gets back on TV soon.
The difference between the main roster and the NXT crew is that the top star on the in-house indie promotion can happily come out to an awesome, bouncy ska-punk jam. Zayn’s theme is like, the only way I’ll ever listen to ska in this day and age, which is really saying something. I sure hope it connects with the universe at large!
It’s Three Six Mafia. I love Three Six Mafia. Hall of Pain-era Mark Henry is a great wrestling character, and booking one of the greatest rap groups ever to tell the world that Mark Henry intends to break your neck in his theme is pitch-perfect marketing. I’m gonna miss hearing this when Henry hangs it up for good.
The Shield’s theme was one of the most instantly iconic compositions in the history of WWE. Just this heavy, wordless trudge that terrified everybody on the receiving end. It’s been slightly sullied considering it’s been given over to Roman Reigns in a desperate hope that the heat would carry over, but whatever, it’s still fantastic.
The Wyatt Family’s theme has made wrestling fans. I’ve seen it in real time. The smokey, uncertain, downright sinisterness of this song is so far removed from the average perception of what wrestling is. It evokes more nuance and self-awareness than the entirety of Hulk Hogan’s career. Top-tier y’all.
The one WWE theme I’d actually want to hear in a club. I’d put Sasha Banks’ music on a running playlist, or a particularly determined moment of pre-Friday night self-motivation. It’s the best, and it’s perfect for the zeitgeist Banks has created around her character.