It doesn't get much better than this.
In a sign that parental humor is alive and well, a Utah high school basketball star is named...wait for it...
Stockton. Malone. Shorts.
Stockton Malone Shorts is more than just an absolutely perfect name for a Utahn. He's averaging 24.2 points per game, and he scored 17 and posted 7 rebounds on Monday to lead Copper Hills to Utah's 5A boys basketball quarterfinals.
This is all the inspiration I need to name my first-born Shaq Kobe Rapaport.