What hath God wrought?
Have you ever thought to yourself "I wonder what Nationals superstar Bryce Harper would look like if his head were placed on the body of a turkey?" Well, if you have, there's something deeply wrong with you. But the Potomac Nationals—the Class A affiliate of the Nats—has decided to reward you for your horrifying idea with a bobblehead that will haunt you to the end of your days.
What's your favorite part of the video, aside from the David Attenborough-esque narration? I'm a fan of this "gobblehead" (because of course that's what it's called) being described as "half turkey, half Nationals phenom," which is an incorrect description, given that the only part of this monstrosity that is Harper is his head.
The P-Nats, who clearly took all the wrong lessons from The Island of Dr. Moreau, will be giving away this limited-edition bobblehead on May 13 as part of "Pfitzgiving." Because what better way to give thanks than by contemplating the Cronenberg universe where such a creature could exist and being glad you don't live in it?