Counting the Crazy Cash From LIV Golf's First Season

This was legendary tough-guy actor Humphrey Bogart’s take on wealth: “The only good reason to have money is this—so that you can tell any SOB in the world to go to hell.”

The players of LIV Golf, who are on their way to being rich/richer/stupidly rich, may be positioned for the last laugh. Financially, anyway.

The individual portion of LIV Golf concluded Sunday in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, with the seventh and final event. All that’s left on the 2022 schedule is the team extravaganza at Trump Doral the end of this month. What, LIV Golf is done so soon? It seems as if it just got here.

Well, The Ranking can’t exactly score LIV’s winners and losers. Every player was a winner in this Oprah-like giveaway. Here’s a brief guide to the suds and duds of LIV (not including each player’s team earnings) but really, if you didn’t score enough dough to open an off-shore bank account in the Bahamas, you just weren’t trying …

Dustin Johnson: Pardon my calculator, but DJ won $28.5 million in seven LIV events, including an $18 million bonus for ranking first on the points list. That’s on top of a rumored $125 million signing bonus. Let’s see, carry a couple of zeros and … that’s $153 million versus the $74 million he won in 16 PGA Tour seasons. His LIV regular season was just about what he took home during his last six PGA Tour campaigns. So how are things, Mr. Bogart?

Branden Grace: This South African was once best known for shooting the only 62 in major championship history (he didn’t win). He may be better known for winning the first LIV event in the U.S. His $14.5 million included an $8 mill bonus for ranking second in points. He’s 34. Nice work if you can get it. And if you can get it, tell me how …

Peter Uihlein: The two-time Walker Cupper’s only notable professional wins were a Korn Ferry Tour event and a shared European Tour-Challenge Tour event in the Madeira Islands. Yes, that’s a loose interpretation of the word “notable.” Uihlein played in 11 majors and never finished in the top 40. He didn’t win at LIV (he lost a playoff to Brooks Koepka at Jeddah, no relation to Jedi) but he scored big with $9.8 million, including $4 mill for being third in points. And he still gets his Titleists for free.

Patrick Reed: He won $5.1 million in six events, slightly less than what he made the last two PGA Tour seasons. A good choice for him … and us.

Charl Schwartzel: You were wondering what ever happened to the 2011 Masters champ? Since then, he won the 2016 Valspar Championship and nothing else in the U.S. PGA Tour career winnings: $20 mill. Seven LIV events: $6 mill. When he turned 38, it was a very good year …

Talor Gooch: The former Oklahoma State University golfer took some heat for jumping leagues and for comparing the LIV atmosphere to a Ryder Cup, an event he hasn’t played. He won $3.3 mill, averaging about $471,000 per event. He finished 14th in his first (and possibly last) Masters this year and never got higher than 31st in the Official World Golf Ranking. As Sir John Gielgud said in the last good Indiana Jones sequel, “He chose … wisely.”

Eugenio Chacarra: Another Oklahoma State star, the 22-year-old Spaniard was the first active collegian to sign with LIV. Had he turned pro—he had the option of another year in school—he had no direct path to PGA Tour membership. He signed a three-year deal—“I had to take it,” he said. He wasn’t wrong. He won a $4 mill LIV event. Total rookie pro year winnings: $4.8 mill. He wasn’t going to make 10 percent of that on the Korn Ferry Tour.

Henrik Stenson: The popular Swede gave up his post as European Ryder Cup captain to win $4.4 mill in four events, a needed windfall for a guy who’d been swindled out of millions on two occasions.

Chase Koepka: How does $1.7 million sound to a guy without PGA Tour status (but does have important big-brother status)? Pretty sweet is the correct answer.

Richard Bland: The happiest 49-year-old in golf was this Englishman, who’d won about $8 million in 506 DP World Tour starts with one win. In seven LIV starts, he racked up nearly $2.3 million. That’s called a pension plan.

Bryson DeChambeau: The PGA Tour’s top attraction two years ago with his crazy-long drives and his U.S. Open title is now a forgotten man. After a wrist injury, he signed for a big chunk at LIV but didn’t produce. He was 24th on the individual money list ($1.9 million) and never a factor, not counting his occasionally way-off-base pre-tournament comments.

Phil Mickelson: LIV’s biggest marquee signee (was it really $230 million?) cracked the top 24 in LIV’s 48-man fields only once in seven events and won $1.5 mill, ranking 32nd in individual earnings (behind U.S. Amateur champ James Piot). The farther we get from Mickelson’s 2021 PGA Championship, the more miraculous it looks. His tough-guy, anti-PGA Tour talk has been curious, at best.

Hudson Swafford: He ranks 48th on the LIV money list with $991,000, the lowest of any player to compete in all seven events. Still, that’s $141k per round. The Ranking staff would play for half of that. Or any of that. Or for free golf …