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Phillies Publicly Soliciting a Lefthanded Batting Practice Pitcher

The only catch is, you have to be a lefty.

After finishing in fourth for fifth place in the NL East for five consecutive seasons, the Phillies could use all the help they can get.

So, new manager Gape Kapler decided to take a play out of the book of former Eagles coach Dick Vermeil ... kinda.

Kapler isn't having an open tryout to get a new shortstop or leftfielder or utility guy, but he does need a lefthander to throw batting practice at Citizens Bank Park.

So, if you have spent the last four years telling your friends about how you could throw 84 mph back in high school, and want a chance to hang out with Jake Arrieta and Rhys Hoskins and Scott Kingery and the rest of the squad, get your arm loose, and send Kapler some film.

For everyone who has been waiting their whole life for a Vince Papale moment, and thinks they have what it takes to be a "strong cultural contributor," maybe now is your time to come make an impact in the Phillies' clubhouse so you can help them win the World Series this year, and Disney can make a movie about your life.

Philadelphia opens up its season Thursday against the Braves in Atlanta and its first home game is April 5 against the Marlins.