4 Crucial Takeaways From Orioles GM Jared Banner's Intro Press Conference

You only get one chance to make a first impression, and boy did Orioles new “GM” Jared Banner come out swinging Tuesday.

He’s a real five tool player in everything his boss, proven baseball failure Mike Elias covets (he merits a plus-plus scouting grade in genuflection and gaslighting, the traits that matter most around here). Banner must have set an MLB record for fewest questions asked (none) before becoming absurdly defensive at an introductory press conference of any sort. He simply could not wait to launch to Elias’s defense less than 30 seconds into his opening remarks and then repeatedly kowtowed to someone no one would have ever asked him about in 1000 press conferences, but who apparently is the true “brains” of baseball operations – president of baseball operations Catie Griggs. She’s the ultimate gatekeeper (who knew?) who Banner invoked and praised repeatedly.

Indeed, in the ultimate sign of what a bush league and broken franchise this is, Griggs – of all the terrible execs in The Warehouse (and they are everywhere even after throwing Matt Blood aside) – seems to be lording over all, and someone who Banner couldn’t stop talking about. Whether performance art or not, it really was quite something.

Griggs, to hear Banner tell it, played as big a role as anyone in convincing him to leave the Cubs to basically still continue to do assistant GM duties, only with a fancier title in Baltimore. I watched this thing twice, and, unquestionably, she’s the improbable star of this bizarre mess of a dog and pony show (they can’t even run a normal press conference). As instead of being fired for making a mess of the ballpark with attendance hitting new lows, we found out how highly important she is in all things baseball.

At this point it’s hard not to wonder if Elias actually works for her (surely he’d love to peddle that narrative with the 10th worst record in baseball since June 21, 2024), and I’ve come to consider that The Warehouse must be infinitely more lost than previously assumed possible. Anyway, here is what you need to know from another demonstrably laughable day in Birdland (but at least no other mascots got fired that we are aware of):

Griggs Has The Real Muscle

Quote That Matters (PR functionary - but not the PR functionary who pretends to be a "reporter" in the dugout for MASN - before the press conference): “Before we get into today’s program, we’d like to recognize a couple of guests in the audience. First, Jared’s wife … and Orioles president of baseball operations, Catie Griggs.”

Man that really sings. You think Catie wrote it herself? Of course she did! Thank goodness everyone knew that such a vital piece of this puzzle was in that room. What a relief!

This was Catie’s big day and no one was going to take that away from her, damnit. It set the tone for the ridiculousness that was to come as we found out what an important role she played in hiring the new “GM”’ of the Baltimore Orioles

Banner couldn’t stop gushing her.

“I had a really good job in Chicago, and it was a role I was not looking to leave,” he said. “But when Mike came to me about potentially partnering to build a perennial contender here in Baltimore it really got me excited. Then I sat down with Catie and ownership, and that’s when I realized this was a special place. Baltimore was it!”

So much butt kissing. It was sycophantic and silly. If the person most responsible for firing The Oriole Bird and Mr. Splash is who sold you to come work for them, it’s a character blemish on your part and it totally confirms everything I thought about this job – be a shield for Elias and Griggs, be a PR operative for them, carry no actual power. It’s always optics.

Elias Is A Genius! Just Ask His New Hire!

Quote That Matters (Banner): “I originally met Mike in the early 2010s, scouting in the Northeast. I was very impressed by Mike then, and I continue to be now. And in baseball circles, which is a long way from Twitter, we know Mike is one of the most talented executives in the game, hands down. So, I’m honored to be up here next to him.”

Not sure about Twitter, but here’s how the standings work, Jared. Here’s a few facts that this hack PR staff probably kept from you, but you could find easily on you own:

Mike cares so little about your job he never told anyone it was vacant in the first place, and after it leaked out, he still waited about 15 months or so fill it, and only did it then because he keeps finishing in last place. That’s because your job doesn’t matter. In the meantime, Mike is 39 games out of first place, collectively, the last two years, finishing below .500 in the terrible AL in 2026, too.

He’s churned through three overmatched managers, and is 196-215 since June 21, 2024, 20th out of 30 MLB teams. He’s actually a baseball laughingstock and Dan O’Dowd and Jim Duquette and Buck Showalter and a host of plugged in reporters have made that clear on “The Daily Flock Show” (you’ll really get a kick out of the latest episode, it's all about you).

Whoever would lower themselves the most and be willing to prop up Elias and Catie the most would get this job. That’s how we got stuck with puppet Craig Albernaz. And Banner managed to lower himself in ways even Alby couldn’t manage at his intro presser. Hat tip. Truly impressive.

It Was An Inside Job

Quote That Matters (Elias): “He’s been on successful teams, he’s held all kinds of different roles, he’s led multiple departments, he’s got a great reputation. And we have a lot of mutual connections that we’ve worked together (with) that recommended him very highly for this.”

Elias was only going to hire a certain kind of person with a certain background to replace Blood (that’s what this is). They had to be from within the same circles he runs in and they had to already think mostly the same and they had to be willing to walk in the door kissing his ring (the Rays should give him for always fleecing him in trades). It wasn’t going to be a search to find someone more experienced or more qualified, it was to find a flunky who would fall right in lockstep because he already fit the description.

So Elias added what amounts to a fourth assistant GM to this mess from outside the building because he knew exactly how he would mesh with the ones already here … The underlings who know the key to job security is to tell Mike how smart he is. And this guy did it 30 seconds into the job before anyone could ask him anything.

Alby’s Staff Is Safe

Quote That Matters (Banner on keeping the coaching staff): “We’re hoping for some continuity. Things could change - some of our staff members could get new, big opportunities elsewhere … But we’re hoping for some continuity.”

Oh, don’t sweat it, ain’t nobody trying to pick Alby’s staff for gems. You don’t have to lose any sleep over that. Keeping the guys who turned Adley Rutschman and Gunnar Henderson and Jackson Holliday and Colton Cowser into a collective nothingburger, they got hired by Elias for a reason; they won’t be making anyone better, and so of course these feckless front office stewards want to run it back with them.

See, if you fire them, they aren’t getting jobs in the lockout, and you can’t offset their salaries so you have to pay them to leave and pay someone else to come in and actually try to be competent at that job. Private equity doesn’t work that way. And private equity doesn’t care about winning.

Because while Catie (when we getting that All-Star Game?) was getting her bouquets and this once-proud franchise found a way to disgrace itself yet again, David Rubenstein couldn’t be bothered to be around, or any of the other billionaires.

Get ready to finish 20 games out in 2027, all over again.

Subscribe To "The Daily Flock" On YouTube For No BS O's Content And Convos:

Add us as a preferred source on Google