Cowboys Courtship: Wait, Dallas Was How Close to Signing Von Miller?!
Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …
*Jalen Brunson to New York. Am I mad at the Knicks for waltzing into our house and stealing him? Or peeved at the Dallas Mavericks for not locking the doors?
Turns out DFW has a long, complex sports history with the Big Apple:
I hate New York, because the Knicks stole Rolando Blackman, Derek Harper and Jason Kidd from the Mavs.
But then again I love New York, because they swallowed Dennis Smith Jr. and provided us with Tim Hardaway Jr. and Reggie Bullock.
But wait, I hate New York more because they burdened us with Kristaps Porzingis. But he begat Spencer Dinwiddie, so …
Right, upon further review I indeed love New York, because the Yankees freed the Texas Rangers from Alex Rodriguez and Rougned Odor, and sent us the likes of Jon Wetteland, Mickey Rivers and Goose Gossage.
Check that, it’s hate. Because long before that the Yanks saddled us with Billy Martin, Sparky Lyle and Chad Curtis. Oh, and they nabbed from us Joey Gallo, Gaylord Perry and Ruben Sierra. Definitely hate.
Sure enough, more hate of New York, because not only did the Giants lift from the Dallas Cowboys players such as Everson Walls, Dwayne Harris and Chris Canty, they recycled Herschel Walker back to us and the Jets shoved Bill Parcells down our throats.
Or is it love, because the western part of the state did provide fodder in the form of the Bills losing to the Cowboys in back-to-back 90s’ blowout Super Bowls?
But now it’s Brunson to New York, leaving the Mavs a void that I hate.
And, of course, I’ll always love New York, because it bestowed upon DFW a man named Tom Landry.
I’m conflicted about New York.
*Come to think of it, Buffalo also recently stole Von Miller from the Cowboys. Or did it? Turns out the Cowboys offered the feared free-agent pass-rusher the same contract they offered Randy Gregory before he bolted for the Denver Broncos.
“I told them I was ready to come to the Cowboys,” Miller says. “I would have taken less to go to Dallas, because it’s Dallas.”
You excited about the Cowboys season? Think how much more amped you’d be if the defensive front featured Micah Parsons, DeMarcus Lawrence and Miller?
*New Maverick Jaden Hardy won’t have to do much to be best the player in team history … to wear No. 3. The 37th overall pick in last month’s NBA Draft this week signed his contract and was issued uniform No. 3, which has – to put it mildly – a blasé heritage with the Mavs.
The brutal roll call: Jamie Watson (1997), Kevin Ollie (1998), Rick Hughes (2000), Vernon Maxwell (2001), Charlie Bell (2002), Travis Best (2004), Roddy Beaubois (2010), Shane Larkin (2014), Charlie Villanueva (2015), Jonathan Gibson (2017), Nerlens Noel (2017), Daryl Macon (2019), Antonius Cleveland (2020) and Tre Burke (2021).
To be No. 1 at No. 3, Hardy has only to be better than Beaubois, the French point guard who started 54 games from 2010-13 and is the only 1,000-point scorer with Dallas among the gruesome group. The other 13 No. 3s combined to start just 33 games as Mavericks.
*Trying to be positive about the Rangers, so … let’s focus on the future instead of the present.
Not long ago Texas was flirting with .500, but three one-run losses to the lowly Orioles has that rally detoured to the ditch. There almost assuredly won’t be any Rangers at next week’s All-Star Game, but No. 1 prospect – pitcher Jack Leiter – will play in the Futures Game. So there’s that. And, just for fun, we can peek back at the past as Rangers Hall of Famer Adrian Beltre will serve as hitting coach for the game. One-knee homers for everyone?
*If you missed a reason to celebrate America’s birthday, I’ve got your 246 sportsy candles right here.
*Spent my Fourth of July in Las Vegas and, per usual, got financially fleeced. It wasn’t the dealer drawing 21 on six cards, but more so the exorbitant prices for, um, liquid refreshments.
Went to a concert at the Tao Beach Club atop the Venetian, reserved a cabana’s shade from the 107-degree sun and – I kid you not – ordered a bottle of Belvedere vodka that cost … $825. And just for fun, six bottles of water set me back a cool $54.
Outrageous? Sure. Expected? Definitely.
When I posted my bill to social media this week, one commenter wagged a finger and scolded me for “wasting” my money and not putting it toward “something important.” Maybe, wink, I should start spending my time and money toward charity?
*Hot.
*Not.
*At the least it’s tone-deaf. At the worst it’s sickeningly insensitive. In an American landscape currently littered with seemingly weekly mass shootings, should America’s Team be proudly partnering with a coffee company that features cups of “AK-47 Espresso,” “Silencer Smooth” and “Murdered Out”? No. No it should not.
Announcing Black Rifle Coffee as “America’s Coffee” was inexcusably ill-timed.
*The Super Bowl of Space beckons. Sooooo excited about Tuesday’s unveiling of the first photos from the James Webb telescope. Seriously, we’re going to see farther into space – and back into our past – than ever before. The Webb is going to answer two compelling questions: 1. Where are we from? 2. Are we alone? Riveted, I tell ya.
*While waiting for the Mavs to retort to losing Brunson – sorry, Christian Wood and JaVale McGee don’t count – they did re-sign Theo Pinson. Alert Laura Miller to dust off the parade route, we’ve got the position of towel-waver locked up.
*I did get extremely lucky in Vegas. Got out of a taxi to realize – uh-oh – I left my phone in the back seat. It’s Sin City, where everything from money to scruples disappear in a flash. Flagged down a bellman, who used his phone to call my phone and … suddenly we saw another bellman waving his hand about 50 yards away. He saw my phone as he was loading another group into my taxi. He saved it, and my ass.
Whew! But not as lucky as this DFW resident. Another week, another Lottery winner to the tune of $1 million.
*Remember that sketchy club – the OT Tavern – on Greenville Ave. at which Cowboys’ cornerback Kelvin Joseph was allegedly involved in a murder? Shut. Down.
*A reason not to flash your lights at the oncoming car with its high-beams on: You might get shot in the face. Be careful out there, y’all.
*Only nine weekends until the Cowboys open against the Buccaneers. To put that in perspective, it was just nine weekends ago that we were watching the Mavs win Game 4 to tie their series against the Phoenix Suns.
*Remember that Netflix show Cheer that we all binged last year? It featured the Navarro County College cheerleaders, including a bubbly, zaftig and energetic man named Jerry Harris who became a national star. But now? Sentenced to 12 years in federal prison for child porn and engaging in sexual acts with a minor. Ya just never know what people are doing behind closed doors, do ya?
*Okay NFL, hiring the first black woman president of one of your teams is step in the right direction. Welcome to the bad ol’ boys club, Las Vegas Raiders new boss Sandra Morgan.
*So if Noah corralled all the animals and built the ark and Earth was flooded and everything drowned except the contents of the boat that settled in the Middle East, how’d the kangaroos get across the vast expanse of the Indian Ocean to Australia … with no traces of kangaroo fossils in the Middle East? And, for what it’s worth, were there no other fishermen around with boats to supplement Noah’s task?
*While in Vegas I was reminded of how our 24-second news cycle is voracious beast constantly searching for its next snack. One day the transgressions of Vegas sports stars Henry Ruggs III and Jon Gruden were viral; the next day vanished.
*Bad news: Rent is rising in DFW faster than anywhere in America. Good news: H-E-B is hiring 700 employees in Frisco.
*Story only early July could love: “Wolf Hunter feeds fish to a bear.”
*The worst and best of America, uncomfortably combined: Parents Kevin an Irina McCarthy were victims of last weekend’s Fourth of July parade shooting near Chicago. They were shot and killed while huddled over their 2-year-old son, protecting him from gunfire. A crowd-funding effort was started for the family and within 24 hours the GoFundMe had received donations from 45,000 people totaling $2.5 million. Bleak economy and sky-high gas prices be damned, when Americans need help America finds a way.
*Fastest high-school runner in DFW is going to a college without a track team. Why? Because he’s also a dang good football player.
*The Vegas concert, in case you’re wondering, was Sofi Tukker. I’ve gravitated toward house music, better known as “ooncha ooncha.” Why? Because country music is sad, rock can be angry and house is all about inclusivity, energy and being happy.
*This Weekend? Friday let’s celebrate turning 58 – or as I like to call it, “halfway to 116” – by playing some tennis in the summer sun. Saturday let’s support a long-time friend’s new brand launch. Sunday let’s visit the fam down in JoCoMoFo. As always, don’t be a stranger.
