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Ranking All 20 Premier League Teams’ Performances on Matchday 5

Two of the top Premier League title challengers endured underwhelming weekends.
Grey Whitebloom|
There was a wide array of displays on show this weekend.
There was a wide array of displays on show this weekend. | Catherine Ivill/AMA/Getty Images (De Zerbi), Glyn KIRK/AFP/Getty Images (Isak), Marc Atkins/Getty Images (Martínez)

The first international break of the season is now upon us and the slate of matches which preceded this natural hiatus certainly had the ‘last day of semester’ feel.

Some unruly classes exchanged goals freely, with five different teams scoring three or more across a flurry of chaotic affairs. Others simply waited for the bell to ring, something almost impressive in the way they managed to expend so much time, energy and sweat without achieving anything noteworthy.

Before focus shifts away from the Premier League for the next three weeks as the fall blur awaits, there was time for one last report card.

Ranking Criteria

  • Performance: This is the crux of the exercise: How well did each team play when considering the flow of a game divorced from the final score. If it was simply a judgement of scoreboard statistics you may as well go straight to the table.
  • Expectations: Not all results are equal. Teams that upset the odds with their display are rewarded more favorably.
  • Venue: As the behind-closed-doors season of 2020–21 proved, playing in front of your home fans is a huge advantage, so any away results are given a little extra bonus.

20. Arsenal (3–0 Loss vs. Brighton)

Gabriel
Arsenal were battered by the Seagulls. | Clive Rose/Getty Images

The tone was set after just 18 seconds. Arsenal were pressed into their own corner from the first throw-in of the contest and never recovered, as Mikel Arteta damningly pointed out after the 3–0 reverse.

Brighton converted two crisp long-range strikes to somewhat distort the scoreline, but Arsenal were clearly second best on a brisk afternoon. The fall chill has swept across the south coast and blown away the Gunners’ cloak of invincibility with it. This was a defeat so damaging it sparked questions as to whether future teams could replicate Brighton’s success.

19. Nottingham Forest (1–0 Loss vs. Coventry)

Oliver Glasner lamented that the “entire City Ground was nervous” and his side didn’t do anything to soothe those qualms. Faced with Coventry’s stubborn block, Nottingham Forest failed to find any moment of inspiration, leaving their manager “frustrated” and “disappointed.” Once the anxiety had surpassed, those were the same emotions shared by the crowd.

18. Tottenham (3–2 Loss vs. Aston Villa)

At this point, Tottenham’s performances are enough to send Roberto De Zerbi into an existential crisis. Not because they are so woefully inept—quite the contrary. Spurs seem to have mastered the art of playing just well enough to get everyone’s hopes up before once again crumbling to defeat.

“These players, they don’t need to play better,” the beleaguered Italian boss sighed, the neck of his black T-shirt as loose as Tottenham’s rearguard after he pulled the top over his head to hide from the 3–2 reverse. What Spurs need, according to De Zerbi, is more “blood” and “fight.” Three points would also help.

17. Chelsea (3–0 Loss vs. Brentford)

Levi Colwill
Chelsea’s defensive woes are by no means new. | Ryan Pierse/Getty Images

In Ernest Hemingway’s novel The Sun Also Rises, the character Mike Campbell is asked how he went bankrupt. “Two ways,” he says, “Gradually and then all at once.”

Chelsea’s demise at Brentford followed a similar trajectory.

There wasn’t anything egregiously wrong with Chelsea’s opening hour on the other side of west London. If anything, the Blues were fulfilling their manager’s demand to be more “boring.” Yet, this suddenly toothless iteration of Xabi Alonso’s evolving side was rapidly condemned to a sound thumping.

16. Ipswich (1–0 Loss vs. Everton)

Despite falling behind after 11 minutes and playing the final quarter of the contest with 10 players, Ipswich never let themselves get entirely shut out of a tight trip to Everton. “The only disappointment is the result,” Gary O’Neil fairly surmised.

15. Hull (2–1 Loss vs. Newcastle)

“We were in the better team in the second half,” Sergej Jakirović pointed out with plenty of merit. “Unfortunately, we weren’t in the first half and this is maybe where we lost the game.”

14. Leeds (0–0 Draw vs. Crystal Palace)

Dominic Calvert-Lewin running.
Dominic Calvert-Lewin missed the game’s best chance. | Annabel Lee-Ellis/PA Images/Getty Images

In a game of few chances, Leeds’ best sight of goal fell to the one player they would have chosen for the task, their top scorer and freshly re-called England international, Dominic Calvert-Lewin. Yet, such are the fickle fates of this bedeviling sport, he could not convert.

13. Crystal Palace (0–0 Draw vs. Leeds)

At this point in the Pierre Sage experiment, a clean sheet represents positive progress. It took a heroic intervention from Walter Benítez but Leeds’ goalkeeper, James Trafford, was busier than his Crystal Palace counterpart on Sunday.

12. Man Utd (1–1 Draw vs. Fulham)

Matheus Cunha
Man Utd dressed in all blue. | Justin Setterfield/Getty Images

“I’ve watched Manchester United since the age of 5,” Gary Neville seethed, the flecks of boiling spittle almost visible on the screens of televisions everywhere as he fumed on the match commentary of Sunday’s trip to Fulham, “and that was the worst 15 minutes I’ve ever seen.”

The retired United defender was referring to the first quarter-hour of the second half, which saw the Red Devils sleepwalk into a 1–0 deficit. The previous 45 minutes and the half-hour that followed had a lot more fight about it but this was a performance which did little to ease the pressure on Michael Carrick.

11. Fulham (1–1 Draw vs. Man Utd)

Calvin Bassey offered the most insightful summary of Fulham’s “frustrating” 1–1 draw on Sunday. “It was a game of luck, we both had it on our side,” the defender lamented.

10. Everton (1–0 Win vs. Ipswich)

The nature of Thierno Barry’s decisive goal reflected Everton’s performance, and their season as whole thus far: not too pretty but effective. James Tarkowski’s volley cannoned off the chest of his striker, who turned around in a mix of bemusement and embarrassment before accepting the acclaim of the game’s only goal.

9. Aston Villa (3–2 Win vs. Tottenham)

After one goal and as many points to start the new season, Aston Villa needed this. That much was evident from Unai Emery’s visceral celebration of Nicolas Jackson’s crafty finish which saw him wheel away to smack a bag of balls in his technical area.

The fact that Villa had to ride their luck and wait for Tottenham to implode will only be dwelled upon when the swelling on Emery’s hand subsides.

8. Bournemouth (1–0 Loss vs. Liverpool)

Andoni Iraola, Marco Rose
Iraola returned to the Vitality Stadium. | Robin Jones/AFC Bournemouth/Getty Images

“You don’t get points for playing well,” Marco Rose huffed. In this article, you do.

The Cherries didn’t squander a lead this time but still left the Vitality Stadium with the hollow feeling of starting much better than their opponents while ending the match without three points.

7. Sunderland (5–3 Loss vs. Man City)

Not many clubs come away from the Etihad with three goals, a hat-trick for their striker and a laughable xG of 4.15. Sunderland managed all that and still came away with a defeat, yet their pride was very much in tact.

“We are really proud to play our football,” Régis Le Bris reflected. “We went toe-to-toe with one of the best sides in Europe today.”

6. Newcastle (2–1 Win vs. Hull)

After Monday night’s horror show against Leeds United, nothing aside from all three points would have sufficed for Newcastle United. The Magpies delivered—just. The “trauma,” to borrow Matthias Jaissle’s expression, of so many dropped points from last season nearly saw another lead frittered away but Newcastle ultimately held firm.

5. Liverpool (1–0 Win vs. Bournemouth)

This was a curious win for Liverpool. There were a lot of surface-level positives to take from a match which saw Andoni Iraola get three points against his former employers, Alexander Isak extend his scoring form and Jérémy Jacquet shined in a third straight clean sheet for the visitors.

However, the Reds were second-best for large chunks of the contest and had to rely upon Bournemouth tiring in the second half after their European excursions on Thursday night.

4. Man City (5–3 Win vs. Sunderland)

Erling Haaland grinning.
Erling Haaland was on hand for Manchester City, as ever. | Martin Rickett/PA Images/Getty Images

“Too many goals,” Enzo Maresca concluded, “I prefer 1–0, it’s much better.” In reality, this contest could easily have tipped into double digits, such was the wealth of incisive attacking and erroneous defending from both sides.

City simply couldn’t contain Brian Brobbey, who came away with a hat-trick despite the defeat and left Maresca with problems to balance his positives. “I’m always concerned, always trying to see what we can do better,” the Italian manager admitted. This showing offered even more reason for that caution.

3. Coventry (1–0 Win vs. Nottingham Forest)

Coventry City have waited more than 25 years for a Premier League win, dropping all the way down to England’s third tier without a permanent home during that time. Frank Lampard was right to savor the occasion, sealed with a deft strike from Jay Dasilva which gave way to 35 minutes of defensive resilience (and a fortuitous VAR decision).

2. Brentford (3–0 Win vs. Chelsea)

Igor Thiago (center) wheeling away.
Igor Thiago (center) scored his first Premier League goal of the season for Brentford against Chelsea. | Jacques Feeney/Offside/Getty Images

For many watching a durably drab affair unfold across the opening hour of Friday night’s Premier League offering, Brentford’s three-goal blitz came as a surprise. But not to Keith Andrews.

The bubbly Bees boss assured reporters that he had sensed a performance was coming just from the look his players’ eyes during training this week. They waited until the 61st minute to start delivering it but Chelsea certainly had no answer.

1. Brighton (3–0 Win vs. Arsenal)

Fabian Hürzeler was asked after a near-perfect afternoon if the 3–0 bludgeoning of Arsenal ranked as the best performance of his tenure. The German boss allowed himself a wry smile before deflecting the question but there could not really have been much competition.

Brighton not only nullified the champions but carved them open, playing the type of suffocating and sophisticated soccer which has underpinned the success of Mikel Arteta’s side. Hürzeler won’t allow it, but some revelry would be just rewards for such a brilliant display.

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Grey Whitebloom
GREY WHITEBLOOM

Grey Whitebloom is an Associate Editor for SI FC. He has more than half a decade of experience in sports media across all its various guises, from the fast-paced demands of news articles and match reports to in-depth research required for features. Whitebloom graduated with a First Class Honours from University College London and found himself named on the Dean’s List—which, despite his initial fears, was a form of praise rather than a punishment. He specialises in the Premier League and Champions League, while also boasting an extensive track record of La Liga coverage.

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