Yankees Festivus: Airing Of Free Agency Grievances

New York Yankees general manager Brian Cashman would be an easy target for Seinfeld's Frank Costanza.

Oct 25, 2024; Los Angeles, California, USA; New York Yankees general manager Brian Cashman before game one against the Los Angeles Dodgers the 2024 MLB World Series at Dodger Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Jayne Kamin-Oncea-Imagn Images | Jayne Kamin-Oncea-Imagn Images

Here's a New York Yankees story about ... nothing.

Today is December 23: two days before Christmas and one day before Christmas Eve.

But "Seinfeld" fans know today is much more than that. That's right folks: Happy Festivus!

As Frank Costanza explained, "The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it!"

Just imagine what Costanza would have to say about general manager Brian Cashman, who can't even spare a square while other American League East contenders load up their rosters for the 2026 season.

Can't Spare A Square

Consider what The Athletic's Chris Kirschner tweeted Sunday:

Notable AL East moves so far this offseason:

Blue Jays: Dylan Cease, Shane Bieber, Cody Ponce, Tyler Rogers

Yankees: Trent Grisham, Ryan Yarbrough, Tim Hill, Amed Rosario, Paul Blackburn

Red Sox: Sonny Gray, Johan Oviedo, Wilson Contreras

Orioles: Pete Alonso, Taylor Ward, Ryan Helsley, Andrew Kittredge, Shane Baz

Rays: Cedric Mullins, Steven Matz

Masters Of Their Domain

The Toronto Blue Jays, Boston Red Sox and Baltimore Orioles are masters of their domain, while Cashman has Yankees fans screaming, "Serenity now!"

Yes, New York is firmly in the mix to re-sign outfielder Cody Bellinger and could make a push for prized Chicago Cubs outfielder Kyle Tucker. Yada yada yada, New York could end up rolling with Aaron Judge, Trent Grisham and Jasson Dominguez in the outfield.

Airing Of Grievances

But back to Festivus.

"At the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year," Costanza explained.

So what must Yankees fans be thinking at this point about Cashman, whose pretzels have people thirsty for the club's first World Series winner in the Bronx since 2009.

Perhaps they are ready to place a call to the jerk store.

Perhaps they are waiting for Hal Steinbrenner to tell Cashman, "No soup for you!"

Side note, just imagine if Steinbrenner's father was still running the show: "George is getting upset!"

Feb 24, 2017; Hollywood, FL, USA; Television personality and comedian Jerry Seinfeld performs at the Hard Rock Live. Mandatory Credit: Ron Elkman/USA TODAY NETWORK | Ron Elkman/USA TODAY NETWORK

But Yankees fans would be wise to heed Jerry Seinfeld's observation: "If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.”

So What's The Deal?

After all, there's still plenty of time for Cashman to prove he's sponge-worthy.

Maybe those man-hands of his are working on a trade to upgrade the roster.

Maybe he's conversing with a low talker about a blockbuster move which will re-shape the club.

Or maybe he's engaged with a close talker who is ready to sign on the dotted line.

Remember Yankees fans: "It’s not a lie if you believe it.”

All right, enough is enough. Time for the feats of strength.

Happy Festivus!

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